16 minutes ago
You gotta fucking see this one. Jessi Slaughter’s mother talks to CNN. There’s some truly inspiring quotes…
“We’ve had to basically go into hiding right now…”
Yes, you’re doing a great job of hiding! I haven’t heard a peep about you guys in the three various chat rooms Jessi has created online that I’ve been in the past week. One after the other is shut down, yet she keeps coming back. While hiding in plain sight is sometimes a useful tactic I seriously doubt this is one of those times. Unless you’re a family of espionage experts and I’m unaware!
Is it really Jessi in the chat rooms? Well here is SIX PART SERIES of boring YouTube videos featuring Jessi and her family in a chat room earlier TODAY. You may have taken away her webcam Mrs. Leonhardt, but she still has her microphone and keyboard. Not like those could cause any trouble, right?!
“I had seen most of my daughter’s videos…”
No you hadn’t. You’re lying. You’re lying and you’re stupid and that’s a very dangerous combination. This thing with your daughter started to go viral on July 16th. As of July 19th, you still hadn’t watched her videos. I can understand maybe not seeing them before they went up, but after the phone started to ring with death threats, I don’t know - if it were me I’d wanna take a look at what my daughter was doing online!
“My daughter is um… fully clothed… in all of these videos so I don’t know… how these people… like I said it’s called ‘cut… pat — paste… and edit videos and I think the Internet should be doing more patrolling…”
Wow. I mean there’s no words. You’ve said it all right there.
Jessi’s (and I’m using this word loosely) mother, then goes on to explain how Jessi’s infamous quote, “I’ll pop a glock in your mouth and make a brain slushie” came from a song she heard on…<gasp> THE INTERNET! Yes, song lyrics have once again harmed America’s youth! But these song lyrics are even MOAR dangerous because they’re on THE INTERNET! Oh fuckin’ noes!
CNN asks beacon of parental light, Diane Leonhardt:
“Is she online anymore at all… is she posting anymore videos?”
Diane mutters something about taking away her webcam but it’s quite obvious Jessi is still very active on the Internet, despite the fact that the Internet doesn’t seem to want her. On every single site Jessi logs into, it’s usually only a few hours before she’s either hacked or someone files an abuse report getting the account shut down.
So why? Why don’t they just turn off the computer? At least for a few weeks, right? There’s gotta be some sort of rational explanation as for why this family continues to be in the news TWO WEEKS LATER and are still allowing their daughter online?
“Because they teach computers in school.”
Oh. Okay. AND THEN MY FUCKING BRAIN EXPLODED.
“They just keep blaming my daughter. They locked her in a mental institution for three days… and just kept blaming my daughter… and um… my daughter said she did not do that.”
I don’t blame your daughter. Your daughter is a genius. She’s manipulated you brilliantly. She knows how naive her parents are and she’s taking full advantage of their stupidity. Your daughter is so goddam smart, she could be running a television network tomorrow.
I’m sure Jessi’s told you the following: “That pic was photoshopped!!!!!!” “They edited that video together!!!!!” ”i didn’t post that!!! Someone is pretending to be me!!!!!11!1!!” Sound familiar? The problem is your absolute blind faith in your child and your inability to discern between what’s REAL and what’s the clever work of 12 year-old with fucking iMovie!
SO ENOUGH ALREADY. E-FUCKING-NOUGH. I am hereby declaring a citizens adoption of your daughter. I will announce formal plans to legally adopt Jessica Leonhardt on my webcast tonight, FRIDAY, JULY 30TH at 7:00 PM (EST). I feel it’s the only option left to get this girl the parental advice she so desperately needs.
Also, I think it’s funny.
Did you like the movie Hotel Rwanda
It’s an excellent film, but I had to see it a second time to find out. The first time I saw it I saw “Hotel Rwanda” i spent most of the movie making out with a girl in the middle of the theatre. We felt terrible but we’d just started dating and were really into each other.
Nothing puts Rwandan genocide in perspective like two white middle class drug addicts making out at Brooklyn art house cinema.
The Pretty Reckless - 2010
Van Halen - 1984
One night several years ago, Taylor Momsen’s father took his daughter to a White Stripes show. “Before that, the only concert I’d been to was Britney Spears,” says the singer, songwriter, and guitarist. “But once I saw Jack White onstage, that was it. I grew up as a dancer and I thought you had to dance to be a girl in the music industry. Then I saw the White Stripes and I was like, ‘No, you don’t. I can do that.’” Momsen was nine.
- The Pretty Reckless, Interscope Records Official Bio, 2010
I have never come across a more useful image on the Internet. Not having this on file until now has been a gross error in judgment.
